"Here we go again..." or "They Day I Invited Big Brother in For Good"

It's been almost a year since my last blog post and here I am again seeking more punishment and/or approval from the limited number of people who:

a) know this blog exists
and
b) actually take some time to read it and post a reply

My birthday is fast approaching (my 36th birthday to be exact) and here I sit like a lot of people these seemingly unfortunate days; jobless, painting my house, and creating a new Twitter account although for the life of me I don't know why.

Twitter is basically Facebook minus everything except the status updates. Brilliant! I wish I knew how to steal ideas so effortlessly, but I usually end up thinking "Nah, that'll just be stupid/pointless", but there's always someone to prove me wrong and to make all the money I should have been making.

So now I can post a note to the world with every move I make. Some examples from the Twitter site are things like: "Susan's running late for her meeting", "John is watching the baseball game", "Kelly is going to the grocery store", "Francine just bought a huge freakin' dildo and can't stop smiling that little secret smile" all in an attempt to make people feel more 'connected' to me and vice versa. Because letting all the people in my life (and by 'people' I mean the people who are nosey enough and have enough free time to constantly receive updates) know every move I make during the day (and by 'move' I'm mostly referring to eating, reading, and then getting rid of things I've eaten sometimes while still reading since, on a percentage basis, those three things probably take up the biggest chunk of my time) I'll feel closer to them and they'll feel closer to me and the whole world will be a happier and better place for it.

To let them know what I'm doing in between all those blog posts, emails, and FB/MySpace updates that I used to post until I realized how much time it was taking up and how far behind work, chores, and LIFE I was falling.

Before I realized that it's more fun to have my 'Friends' over to my house and crack open a bottle of beer/wine/whiskey and update them on my status in person (depending on the number of children present, I can usually swear more and I don't feel so bad about it).

Before the novelty wore off and I finally realized I preferred seeing the expression on my friends' faces instead of any variation of :-)

Before I realized how disconnected and antisocial all this connectivity and social networking was making me feel.

This is truly the dawning of The Age of Aquarius my friends...no doubt about it.

I think the most telling thing about the people behind Twitter and their new Internet/social networking 'app' is that they chose to call it "Following".

Oh well, at least they didn't call it "Stalking", then I'd really be creeped out.

Gotta go now, haven't updated my status in awhile. Somebody's watching, I mean Following, I mean...er...waiting?

Eat your veggies. Your mother really does love you.

TTYL.

:-)

P.S. I made up that one about Francine above, but if you are Francine I think I have a few D batteries around here somewhere if you need them, but you probably bought the plug in kind, didn't you? you naughty little kitty ;-) MEE-YOW!