Some days...

Finally have moved into my new house with my lovely wife and kids and all went well. Moved everything in one trip on a big truck on a Saturday morning, had lots of help, and I'm tired as heck...but happy...and then came Sunday!

Woke up early Sunday morning and got breakfast ready for the kids...no problem.

Started working in the garage to get boxes unpacked, boxes and packaging cut up for garbage/recycling, etc. Tiring, but...no problem.

Then my lovely wife asked me to hook up the washing machine and the dark clouds began to move in over the horizon. In the distance I could hear the war drums beating as the battle was about to begin.

I'll be brief:

- I couldn't level the washing machine because one of the screwed on feet is rusted/corroded and no amount of WD-40, gentle twisting, or vigorous hammer-bashing would get it to move.
- I decided to refer to that particular piece of the machine as the 'damned foot'. Not damned like 'damnit, why don't you move!', more like in the biblical, fire and brimstone, eternally suffering type of damned.
- While spraying the aforementioned WD-40 in my admittedly exhausted state with the spray nozzle pointed directly at my face while lying on the ground trying to reach in behind the damned foot, a healthy dose of high pressure spray made it directly into not one, but both my eyes, to wit I exclaimed, "Ahh fucking shit!". I proceeded to shout my wife's name repeatedly while I jumped up and shoved as much freezing cold water from the laundry sink tap into my eyes as possible.
- After listening to my lovely wife read the poison warning information on the back of the WD-40 bottle I kindly asked her to, "Please get me some soap." so I could wash the oily product off my face and prevent any more of it getting into my eyes. My lovely wife took one step away to tease me into thinking that she was actually going to get me some soap, stopped, retracted her step, and proceeded to try and start a debate with me (while still flushing my face/eyes with the coldest water I've felt in a lifetime and gasping for air in between) about whether I should be putting soap into my eyes. To this I replied, not so kindly, "SOOOOOAP!".
- I gave up on the damned foot and tried to level the machine by lying on the ground, lifting/tilting/balancing the machine on the not-damned foot with one hand, while reaching to the back feet with my other hand and trying to shove some wooden shims under them.

Tired yet? Don't worry, I'm almost done.

- Finally completed that task, and to keep the rest of the story as short as possible, I left to drive to Home Depot to buy some parts to connect the Clothes Dryer to the Dryer Vent and along my way spilled my lovely wife's leftover coffee on my hand/center console/gearshift, tried to lick as much sticky coffee (my lovely wife likes 3 sugars) off my hand 'cause there aren't any Kleenex around, discovered that my windshield wiper blade was broken and was scraping my actual windshield, and hit at least one (if not two) birds that swooped down in front of my car as I was driving 80KPH on my way to the store.

I felt bad about the birds, I really did. I looked into my rearview mirror and saw the one flailing about on the ground while the other stood there, looking at his fallen friend saying, 'Hey, you OK?". At least that's what he was saying in my head.

When I drove back home, neither one of them was OK. Not even close.

Some days...