Wishing, waiting, wondering...

I WISH:

• that my heart would stop hurting and that my eyes would stop crying.  I've had enough for one lifetime, thank-you.
• that my feet knew which way to walk...or run.
• that I could stop wishing for things to be different and just accept them for what they are.
• that one day my sons will know me for who I truly am.
• that knowing me would make them love me even more.
• that my hands could draw like they once did.
• that my eyes could see the pictures that used to inspire my hands to draw.
• that my body would stop aching.
• that my mind would stop racing.
• that I could feel God in my heart like I once did.
• that I could feel His hand guide me like I used to from time to time.
• that I could lay in a hammock bathed in sunlight hearing nothing but the wind for one whole day.
• that I could read a book that would make me laugh and cry and smile and feel joy.
• that I could close my eyes and remember, really remember, what it was like as a child sitting under the stairs in my grandmother's backyard in the middle of August.
• that I could close my eyes and be sitting at her kitchen table as she shuffled around and cooked or sitting on her living room floor next to her as she knitted and watched The Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, Yan Can Cook, and Pasquale's Kitchen interpreting the foods and recipes to her that she never had any intention of trying.
• that I could hear her say, "Tunderstorm" one more time.
• that I could see the point.
• that I could swim.
• that I was standing on top of the tallest mountain.
• that someone would fix something for me.
• that I wasn't afraid to write a book.
• that it was snowing right now.

I wish I knew what I really wanted to wish for.

But, I still believe in wishes so that's something, I guess.